Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
