I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
