ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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