wanna go halves on a baby?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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