I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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