So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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