White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
