Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
