Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
