her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
please don't ironically join a cult
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