She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
