All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
