he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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