uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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