He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
