I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
