I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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