I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize