Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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