i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
