She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
