He disabled his match.com account in front of me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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