Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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