I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
