I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
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See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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