Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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