we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
