your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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