And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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