I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
