All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
