how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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