Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize