I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm really busy with my period
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