I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
