I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
