Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
