This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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