Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
