I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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