I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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