i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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