You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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