I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
