Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
