My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize