I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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