Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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