I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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