I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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