im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
