Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize