Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
