Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
