yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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