it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
