he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
