I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My pussy is not your playground.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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