how can u be prego again
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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