if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They took my balls.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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