Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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