I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
